For a long time the question of when is the right time to start a relationship has been a topical issue. Even though many won’t admit that they have asked themselves this question at one stage of their life or the other, but it has been a topic that needs clarification.

These days we see desperation to start or enters into a relationship, in fact even students from secondary school, who barely know what a romantic relationship is all about are in one relationship or the other.

We also have some set of people that are in the university, which are yet to enter a relationship, some are of the opinion that it is too early to start, while others admitted that it is a destruction to their studies, and off course, we also have the set of people who have been in relationship since they gain admission into the university, because to them, it is the right time to start a relationship.

Today on Students Speak I ran into Mariana Isaac, one of Nigeria sought after dancer, who has danced in various carnival in the country, most prestigious of all is the Calaber Carnival which is hosted by the Cross River State. She has also featured in a lot of shows in her school which is UNIBEN and some musical video as well. I had an interview with me, where she spoke about her life and most importantly her view on relationship, sex and dating.

Below is an excerpt from the interview…

A lot of people have ask me saying, what is the right age to starts a relationship, do you really think there is a right age to start a relationship?

Actually in my own view, I will say there is nothing like a right age to start a relationship, why is because it is about the mind. It is not wrong for a 12 years old girl or boy to start a relationship, all he or she needs is to be guided and to be told what to do. It also depends on what people interpret to be relationship. Relationship is not a bad thing, it actually a communication between two persons or more.

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Mariana Isaac

Knowing for a fact that friendship is a form or type of relationship, let’s talk about the romantic relationship.

I don’t think is right for a 12 years old to enter into a romantic relationship, why is because he or she is still too young and has a future ahead to think about, so if she start a romantic relationship at that age, it will definitely cut her focus short and probably stops her from moving ahead in life.

Again, she will be face with a lot of distraction, and she won’t want to do what she really want to do, because she has involved herself with something she won’t be able to handle.

Not forgetting that relationship is about maturity of the mind but not necessary age, I have seen a situation where a man of 30 years old is less mature compare to an 18 years boy. Experience is inclusive to your maturity.

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Mariana and her crew members

Talking about experience, many has come up to say a Christian should not be in a romantic relationship or dating, what’s your view on that?

(cough), there is absolutely nothing wrong for a Christian to be in a relationship, because if it is wrong, what that means is that Christian do not get married, because you will obviously date your spouse before getting married to him or her. So it not completely wrong for a Christian to be dating, but a Christian ought to be dating when the time is “due” and not at the early stage of their life when you know marriage is not in view.

Also it is only wrong for a Christian to date when he or she is involved in sexual intercourse in his or her relationship because definitely you will be blind to see what God has for you.

Talking about sex in a relationship, many has translated sex in a relationship as a sign of love, what’s your take on that?

Well (hmmm) it is not wrong to kiss or have sex even as a Christian but it must be done in a marriage environment. Everything goes down to life, life is spiritual and our life is being guided by a manual, which is the Bible. We have a God who we believe in. now in his commandment he says “Do not fornicate and do not commit adultery”.

And we all know that fornication is about two people having sex when they are not married yet. Now, it is wrong to have sex in your relationship, sex does not in any way define love, it rather blind folds you. I have seen a situation where a guy told a lady to have sex with him if she really love him, and after the sex, the guy left. So is not really the foundation of love.

For me, when a guy tells a lady to have sex with him to prove her love for him, it means that guy is fake, and he is not being real. Having said that, sex should not come in a relationship outside marriage in order for that relationship to grow and be able to see what God has for the relationship.

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What do you think are those substances that can sustain a relationship?
Well, there is no particular substance but rather they are many substances. One thing you should know is that, honesty in place of sex is one substance that can make a relationship see the test of time.

Again is generosity (laughing), a relationship that is greedy and self-centered won’t just work for me, both parties should be generous. And also they should be trust in that relationship.

What is your last word for those that want to start a relationship, but just don’t know how or probably confuse on how to go about it?
I would advise that they should consider their age, even though age is not maturity, still it has its part to play, and also consider the age and maturity of the mind of the other person. Don’t just believe a guy because he is telling you that he loves you, is not about the word, words are cheap, it should be about the action.

For instances, I am this kind of person that, if a guy should tell me he loves me, I won’t just believe him, to me is like blabbing, is about action. I am not saying you should prove yourself, but with time I will just know if your love for me is real and if you really meant what you said. Again the God factor cannot be taken out of your relationship if truly you value that relationship.

Let the foundation be on God’s word. That’s it.